Lakes 200 with Phil

"epic adventure" was the title of the email.
We both had some time off on Friday afternoon and Monday morning, so a trip to the Lakes for a bikepacking adventure seemed like a good idea. Phil had picked the Lakes 200 as a route- a 200km epic mountainbiking loop around the Lake District. We figured it would take up to 4 days to do it, so we would go pretty easy, packing light, but still sleeping in tents. The forecast was not great, so it could have been anything from sunny to stormy.

Having got to Staveley in the late afternoon, we packed the bikes and headed off into the distance. The tracks were delightful, we swooshed along out from Staveley along back roads and excellent Bridleways, across to Ambleside, over to Chapel Stile, Elterwater and down to Hawkeshead. Wonderful cycling, good chat and consistently good under tyre surface. We met a couple on Gravel Bikes doing their own kit shakedown prior to a trip, who expressed some doubts about the route we were on... it being quite arduous... we merely laughed it off and said we'd be fine.
We should have listened.

It was just dropping dark as we came across a bit of a spinny just before High Wray. A surreptitious camp in the woodland, out of sight from the track was made, and the night was spent in comfort.

We were both trying out some new kit- so a bit of a shakedown in terms of what works and what doesn't. Phil had a new tent, sleeping bag, sleeping mat etc. etc. so he was definitely the one with most things to try out. It seemed that it all worked well.

And I thought this was packing light.

The next day dawned brightly and we were hopeful of how the day might turn out - Keswick was about 100km away, so that seemed like a fairly intelligent target. The section through Grizedale was great and very rideable - Phil had done the first section before and so we knew that directly after Coniston there was quite an arduous hike a bike section up and over the hill. With that in mind, we stopped for a coffee and cake in Coniston before starting the quite frankly, ridiculous 30%+ hill to the bit where we had to walk.

As we hiked up the hill it seemed like hard work, pushing the bikes onward and upward - but at least there would be a decent downhill at the end.
A number of walkers passed us on the way up, and we were pretty slow, sweating in the sun. Tangfastics were used to stave off cramps, and it was with great relief that we topped out and looked at the marvellous descent in front of us.

Down we went, smiles and delight, until getting to the bottom, I realised I couldn't unclip my left foot. Oh no. Um... slow down, dont panic - unclip rightfoot and stop...
Left foot still attached to the pedal. Comedy ensued as Phil undid my shoe laces in order to get my shoe off as I was semi-sprawled across the floor. Having levered the shoe out of the spd it became apparent that one of the bolts holding my cleat on had fallen out, and the other was very loose indeed. Minor catastrophe.

Looking around at other things on our bikes, Phil found a countersunk bolt holding his navigation clippy thing together that was the right thread, so that was pressganged into action on my shoe... cleat fixed, on we went, a long and very hot loop around to the south of Caw, and then eventually up to the gorge crossing on the Duddon where we stopped for lunch and a dip in the river. So far, so good, we'd had a fair amount of riding, food was good although it was hot, and after being suitably replenished, we got on our way.

Almost immediately we were back to hiking while pushing bikes through some pretty crappy ground, although this wasn't too much the case as we cycled most of it over to Hardknott, and then down the road a short way before taking in one of those pointless bits which is not particularly interesting or inspiring, it is simply a way of making the route longer so that it can be 200km.
By this time it was about 3pm and we were fairly heat struck, so took a while to get off the bikes and just lie in the shade. We knew the next bit was probably going to get worse.

We were right.

Out of Boot and up over to Wasdale was mostly pushing bikes up hill. The main redeeming quality of this was the view at the top as we came down into Wasdale Head. I've never really been cycling anywhere with views like that... and it was cycling at the expense of pushing a lot of stuff up a hill.
A delightful descent into Wasdale and it was 630pm, we decided not to stop because the next hill was Black Sail pass, and we wanted to get over that before camping.

Beautiful views

We had decided a while back that getting anywhere near Keswick was not going to happen today because of the ridiculously slow progress we were making on the hills. Camping at Black Sail, or, optimistically at the top of Scarth Gap before the descent to Honsiter might be possible.

So we went up Black Sail.

And this was an *easy* uphill section

Really doesn't do justice to the fun we had.

Who on earth thought that putting massive stone steps on a Bridleway was a good idea? Actually, who thought that this as a Bridleway is a good idea. At least up until this point the hike-a-bike had been mostly pushable with a couple of lifting the bike up and over some rocks. This is basically lifting your bike up and over everything all the way up. This is slower than walking. This is totally pointless, especially when you consider that you're going to be so knackered by the time you get to the top that cycling down the other side is not going to be an option, so you'll be walking down it as well.
By this time I was losing interest in the Lakes 200 as a route. Anything with this amount of hike-a-bike in terms of push/lift in comparison to actual riding is pretty damn pointless in my opinion. I'd have been faster running.
Heck, I'd have been faster walking.

Eventually the purgatory of going uphill ended, and the slightly different purgatory of going downhill started. Too steep to ride, too rocky to negotiate safely (especially in the state we were in), it was a walk down into Black Sail where we eventually found a sheepfold to camp in. I was pretty adamant that I didn't want anything more to do with hike-a-bike, but we resolved to come up with a plan tomorrow when we got to Honister Slatemine for a coffee.
In the meantime, food was consumed, midges were cursed and we fell into deep and dreamless sleep. It had taken 13 hours to do 67km.

There was a small amount of rain in the night, but nothing to worry about, and it was fine in the morning. Having had a fair amount of sleep, we were both waking up with various aches, pains, bruises and general uncomfortableness.
It took a while for us to get going, probably because we knew that within 10 mins of starting we would be back to pushing the bikes uphill again. And we were.
Scarth gap. Another hike section that involved lifting bikes up and over rocks etc.
At the top a guy came past us on a single-speed(?!) who had spent the night in a silk liner and a bivvy bag. He was packing REALLY light and was in better spirits than we were.

Having said that, the descent down into Honister was another walking descent and we passed him again on the way down. I was expecting to see him again as we went passed us later on, but we never saw him again.
Now for the big road climb of the day, up the pass to Honister Slatemine. I was very glad of the ridiculously low gearing I had on the bike, and also incredibly glad that I was ACTUALLY riding the bike as well. Up to the Cafe at the top of the pass and we got out the map.

"We made a mistake really", said Phil... "when we decided to come to the Lake District". By this time we both knew that completing the loop was not going to be done. Any more hikes for the terrible downhills we had been experiencing just wasn't going to cut it, so the options were basically mashing it on the road up to Keswick and then down the roads to Ambleside and then back to Staveley. Not nice, especially when you consider the volume of traffic on the roads and the high quotient of pillocks behind the wheel.
The other option was offroad - along the bottom of a valley and then pushing up and over Stakes Pass and into the Langdales, before cycleways back to Staveley. That option won out.

So down, a right and then a right at Rossthwaite. What followed was basically 10km of walking while pushing bikes up a valley that *might* have been rideable if you weren't tired and had a lightweight 29er, but on a loaded 26er, it wasn't.

Yes, that is a bridleway as well.

See all that path? Yes. Not rideable.

Then up Stakes Pass, were I decided that we'd literally come on a walking holiday while pushing bikes. Then, we pushed them downhill into the Langdales because that wasn't rideable either.
Rubbish.

The final section of the trip home was much more pleasurable as we actually got to ride our bikes along bridleways that you could cycle on. At Ambleside it rained- as in RAINED while we bashed along the road with a vast amount of traffic, before turning off and heading over the hill back to Staveley on delightful, rideable bridleways, and then we collapsed at the van.

The kit we used was excellent. I enjoyed the overnighting in various places, stoves etc worked well.
The route was horrendous. It was the equivalent of the Pennine Way. Some lovely bits of the world joined together with a number of really crap bits which serve no purpose other than to make it longer. The only way I could imagine doing this trip in the suggested 36 hours or so is to do it on a hyperlight 29er with a single waterbottle and a credit card. That is quite a high bar for entry.
To those that have completed it, I doff my cap to you. You have high levels of suffering on a bike that I am in awe of. 

Right now I'm done with anything that involves pushing a bike for extended periods of time. I bought a bike to ride, not to push. A bit of pushing to get over a particularly stubborn bit of trail, fine. A 5 min push over some gnarly terrain, not a problem. Any bike packing from now on is going to have to be on actual, rideable trails or roads. I can't wait to ride an unladen bike again!