Dirty Reiver 2020/2021

 This was a long time in coming. I originally entered this for the 2020 edition, which inevitably got cancelled/ re-arranged. I held on for the first rearrangement last October, then decided to get my money back for the second re-arrangement for this Spring, and then entered again for the 4th attempt of running it in September 2021. 

To say that I'm not in quite as good shape as I was back for the 2019 edition is a slight understatement. Perhaps the reason for this was that back then, I'd never ridden 200km, let alone off road. To say it was a little daunting would be a  complete understatement. Cue an entire winter of hard turbo training and a good couple of months getting used to my new Fairlight secan- off road in some pretty brutal conditions. 

This time I just entered and pretty much kind of hoped that residual fitness and bloody mindedness would propel me around. 

What I hadn't quite put into the calculation was an all out running timetrial/ race on the Thursday before the event which acted a quite a nice "leg softener" for the main event. 

Heading up to Kielder on the Friday afternoon, the most accurate weather forecase was that of some rain- maybe not too much... but then again, maybe quite a bit. There was certainly a fair amount of interpretation to be done in terms of clothing choices. It was certain that I was going to be camping out- whether it was in a tent or in a van was yet to be seen. Somewhat naiively I assumed that the carparks - in which you can normally park for £10 a night would be open and ready for business- that's what the blurb seemed to say. On arrival, this was not really the case, and the main carpark where I had intended to camp up on, was closed (and empty). Minor issue. 

However, there was the overflow camping- essentially a field, about 300m away from the main event centre, for £15 for the whole weekend. Well ok then- down I trotted and pitched up on a field with a mass of other campervans and tents. All fine. The "gravel expo" was at the event centre where registration was, so I wandered around and looked at bits and bobs. This year, it seems, the whole thing was sponsored by the dealer Madison, so it was pretty much all their gear that was on display there- Lazer, Genesis, Look, etc etc. Last time I was here it was a Salsa dominated event, but there wasn't a peep of them this year. Full gravel expo? Maybe not- but a marketing opportunity for someone sponsoring the event- yes. 

Home sweet home

I'd been having a minor issue with my chain sprockets on my wheels, and there was a Shimano service centre there. As far as I could tell, it needed a half width spacer just to take up some of the slack- never been able to actually get hold of one though. So I took it along to the guys- who seemed to be running some kind of double act. Effectively I didn't need to be told what *else* was wrong with the bike- just fix the bit I'm pointing at please. Happily, all it needed was a half width spacer - which was applied, and then there were comments like "I dunno what you're doing running brakes outside gears, and what's with the non-standard jockey wheels... has this crank never fallen off? There's normally a sticker here telling you what to tighten it up to.... peel it off did you?" To which the retort was "I ride my bloody bike, I don't hang it on a wall". Anyhow, we all got away from the interaction unscathed, and my cassette no longer rattles....

After a decent meal (noodles and bits of chicken) I turned in, realising that a 6am alarm call would be necessary for a 745 start time. What with the clouds of midges, I was perfectly happy to be snuggled away in the tent. 

Saturday morning dawned with a small amount of rain, a queue for the toilets and breakfast- parts1, 2 and 3. Had a sneaky chat with one of the guys on the stands who had stayed somewhere with mobile signal for the latest forecast- which was 16-18 all day, low chance of rain. Brilliant. So the lightest weight waterproof I had, and a gilet for most of the day. Perfect. 

Out and up to the start for 735, loaded the route onto the wahoo, and it was pretty much, right, off you go!

Midge fest

The timing chips started about 2 miles in as we came off the road and onto the dirt, and I tried very hard not to go too fast. Of course when there are hundred of people around you, you tend to get a bit caught up in things, and fairly often, without realising it, my heart rate was climbing to beyond acceptable levels. The first few miles always seems to bring on an inordinate number of punctures, and I was very careful not to snigger at those unfortunately enough to be stricken on the side of the trail, desperately trying to fix a tyre as hundreds of riders passed them by, and thousands of midges attacked them. 

The first 30km was fairly uneventful, apart from a realisation that my legs were really quite tired. This was looking to be quite a long day out, especially considering that we were barely more than an eighth of the way in. Nevermind, I had PLENTY of food, so as long as I took my time, it was all (probably) going to be ok. 

Round and out to the first feedpoint about 50km in and my water had barely been touched, there was no real reason to stop, so I just pootled on through and out up the next hill. The crowds of people were thinning out a bit now, so travelling at my own speed was much easier, rather than battering along at a pace prescribed by someone else. There were some spectacular views out over the general area at this point, so I stopped for a photo before carrying on. 

The open road

The gravel was, for the most part, fairly benign under tyre. The Fairlight was shod with 650b- 2.2in gravelking sk - which were almost overkill for the vast majority of the day. In the previous edition I had 700x42 WTB resolutes, and equally, they were more than a match for the terrain. There were a few dodgy bits where I realised I was travelling downhill- but also surfing from side to side a fair amount, which was a tad alarming- and there were a few times where my prefered line around the corner was sacrificed for something a lot more tame and less likely to end in gravel-rash, but that might have been just me being a wimp, and prefering to have skin. 

Once 65km was passed (the first loop back around to the castle), a road was crossed and there was another 30km to go before the next feedstation- this section included the steepest part of the course, which was a timetrial stage, over which the fastest person would win a pair of Lauf forks. Very nice. Now don't get me wrong, none of this course is crazy steep. There are much MUCH tougher climbs around here in the Peak district, but by this stage, I was not in much of a state to do anything above just get up the next hill. Let's say that I certainly wasn't going eyeballs out for the special stage. I didn't even mind when the dude on the single speed mountain bike came buzzing past me. Whatever.

Rolling around into the Lake shore I started chatting with a guy from Ripon who is a keen caver, and we stuck together for the next few miles to the checkpoint. There was a minor kerfuffle where it was apparent there was a mass dog-walk on the same stretch of path as the Reiver, so there was about a km of excitement as we slowed down and made our way through vast amounts of K-9 related ambulation as politely as we possibly could. 

Checkpoint 2 is at 95km or so, just before the decision point for 130km or 200km. Up to this point I had almost been in 2 minds about going with the 130, rather than overstretching myself on the 200. However, right now, it was a beautiful day, and at 95k, there would only have been another 35k left... barely enough to call it a full day out. 200 it is then. Grabbing a coke, filling a waterbottle and saying hi to Rich Seipp who was manning the feed station I turned around and headed back out for the next 105k.

Checkpoint 2- Gimme some coke

From here, the next feed station is at 147km, so you have a fair amount of distance to go before then- but afterward, there is only about 53km to go to get home. This is where you end up in some fairly remote countryside, which can be made more challenging with head and side winds. The key here is to just try and stay on top of eating and drinking, and keep churning away at the pedals. It isn't bad through this bit- it's really quite fun because you know that there are only 200ers on this bit of the course. By now the same faces are passing you and getting passed by you as we each have a good or bad time, so cheery hello's are still kind of the order of the day. The headwind eventually became a tailwind, which was nice- until you realised the tailwind was coming from the West.... the return leg from the next checkpoint was going to be purgatory. 

Buzzing down into Stoneyhaugh for the feedstation/checkpoint and I was starting to feel quite significantly fatigued. A quick stop off for water, a fig roll and a quick walk around to take the pressure off my bum, and I was ready to go again, fully looking forward to 55km of headwind. I'd rearranged the food in my bag to make sure the Tangfastics were easily accessible... I had a feeling they might be needed. 

Checkpoint 3. Ready for some headwind

Headwinds on their own are kind of ok. Gravel on it's own is kind of ok. Uphill on it's own is kind of ok. All of them together? After 150km... its a recipe for chain eating Haribo and drinking a LOT of water. By this time I was almost at the stage of counting down kilometres- but was fully aware that at the speed I was going, that was going to be fairly dispiriting. Instead I simply resolved to only have a look at how far we had to go once we got to the dam back at Kielder Water. Which looked like being quite a long way away. Anyhow- the vast majority of this section I seem to recall, basically involved grovelling along at my own speed watching other people power off up hills at a speed I could only dream of as I shoveled haribo after haribo down my throat. 

Character forming. 

Eventually we got to the Dam- I have no idea how far we had left at that point... 25km? 30? No clue... but I saw an Osprey overhead, which was a pretty good spot. 

The final hill was taken with a profusion of swearwords, and the final 20k seemed to take forever, with my bum becoming more and more painful by the pedalstroke, but eventually, 9hours and 45 mins after starting I pulled into the Castle grounds and nigh on collapsed. Vegan curry and pitta and low-alcohol Erdinger was served up, before I went off and found the "luxury showers"- which were, I have to say, the best and most luxurious showers ever. Whoever's idea it was to have those showers at the end of this event is a Genius. Pure and simple. 

Then I crashed for a couple of hours and slept, before going for a burger and chips at sundown, and watched the most incredible amount of stars appear as night overtook. Kielder is of course a Dark Skies area, and by crikey, there are a LOT of star that you can see from there. 

Up early and a drive home, and here we are. The bike is clean, the clothes are in the wash and I can sit down without wincing. Bonus. What a great weekend.